Or at least my favorite bit to illustrate a larger point.
In particular, two noteworthy productions:
One at the Seattle Shakespeare Company:
And one at the Globe:
(You can just hear his balls swinging)
In particular, and I am going to go ahead and shout SPOILERS
Some things happen that I think we need to get out of the way.
- There is the rape, behanding, and de-tonguing of the sole virgin in the show (phew glad we started with that one)
- Her brothers are falsely accused of murder
- Her father has his hand cut off to appease the power mad Emperor
- His hand and his sons' decapitated heads are returned to him
This all culminates in what is perhaps the funniest exit in Shakespeare (yes, I am including Exeunt pursued by a bear):
Titus asks his brother to grab one son's head while he grabs the other.
Then, he asks his daughter to grab his hand.
One problem and I will wait for my audience to catch it...
SHE DOESN'T HAVE HANDS.
There, I said it.
Now, I want to illustrate how this was handled in each production:
- At Seattle Shakes, Titus is driven to insanity by his grief. He is cold in his comfort, methodical. He asks his brother to remove one son's head. The brother ineptly reaches out grasping at the carrion. Titus takes the other and deftly pulls it off the pike. His brother does likewise. Titus lifts his hand off the pike and puts it in his daughter's face and asks her: "Bear thou my hand, sweet wench, between thy teeth." Dutifully she does so, they cross to center stage, hold a tableau, and awkwardly exit. It was fun. But, was it art?
- At The Globe, Titus is driven to insanity by his grief. He is cold in his comfort, methodical. He asks his brother to pick up one of his son's heads (they are in bloody bags, soaking on the floor). He does so. Titus grasps the other with his one good hand. And says to Lavinia: "Bear thou my hand, sweet wench." She looks at him. He gestures at her as if to say "My hands are full." And SHE SPENDS ONE FULL MINUTE TRYING TO LIFT IT WITH HER ELBOWS. Then, Titus, pityingly says, "Between thy teeth." And we see her horror and then her determination as she spends another 30 seconds trying before she grabs it and stands up to the horror of 500 spectators.
Now, if you can't tell...I like the second option more.
I would bet most anyone would (save those with infirm constitutions; seriously, people straight left the theatre at that moment).
WHY?
Impoliteness.
The ability to make things difficult onstage.
See, there is this thing necessary to story: Conflict
Conflict is necessary to story.
It is the antagonistic elements of the story embodied by people, natural/social forces, or things.
It can be literally anything, but it drives the characters towards their conclusion.
The first Titus is a great example of stage business in much theatre that I see.
It seems like great staging: the horror of forcing a putrid hand on his daughter.
But, that is textual!
What did the acting or the directing contribute to that moment?
Nothing.
One actor said the lines written by Shakespeare and passed a hand to the logical place according to the line.
Conflict and impoliteness stem from making such a moment, any moment, every moment as difficult as humanly possible.
What do I mean by this?
What makes story/drama so attractive to audience is the opposing forces of protagonist and antagonism.
The greater the polarity, the greater the story.
So it isn't enough to have someone without hands carry the hand in their teeth because the lines dictate it.
Another example?
There are so many....
When actors die onstage, but the body needs to be hidden, they always manage to fall just offstage.
Or when actors are about to be hanged and although they are "fighting for their life" they willingly step up onto the gallows.
These are opportunities! Missed ones.
I present for your viewing pleasure one of my favorite plays:
THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG! (Yes! That is the actual title)
Why do I love this play so much?
Because Everything goes Wrong!
There is not a moment where anything goes right for these floundering community performers.
And so everything has to be fought for, figured out, and dealt with immediately.
Everything is really, really hard!
And that makes for great comedy and great drama.
SO what are some solutions?
1) Be more like Ella Enchanted.
Are you familiar with the premise?
A young girl is cursed with Obedience, capital OB.
She has to do everything asked of her.
However, she has to do what was literally asked, not the interpretation/meaning behind it.
Makes for a thorny problem when a willful girl sets her mind to it.
e.g. Asked for hot tea, gets it thrown in their face
Sack up and don't do everything that the director or fellow actors ask of you.
At least, don't do it in the way they asked it of you.
You will be surprised at the results.
2) Stop Saying Sorry, Ask Did it Work?
Mistakes happen.
Things muck up.
It happens.
Onstage.
Use it!
Nobody ever did anything great without a little risk.
If you accidentally took a risk and it caused a reaction onstage, exploit it.
Meaning: ask if it worked.
Doesn't matter what it was: accidental butt grab, spilling, tripping, false exit, late entrance.
Find out if it worked and if it did, keep it.
3) Find Out what would Help the Most and do the Opposite
This takes some getting used to and is difficult to phrase without specific examples.
Scenario: You are asked to simulate an assassination. The man is before you, prone, open, ignorant of your premise. You are just that good. The only thing holding you back is your conscience. Damn, damn conscience! You open fire. The scene is done. Alternatively, the man becomes aware of your presence, he fights for his life, running about the room, dodging you and your pleas to just talk. He threatens the alarm, you stop him and now you have the choice to make: kill him or let him go and lose your own life.
Basically, evaluate the ideal, the perfect ending to the scene/activity/moment.
Then, work against it.
Work as far in the opposite direction as you possibly can.
Start there, and then keep fighting.
Let the other people do the work and trust that they will carry you to where you need to go.
This takes practice.
It takes ensemble.
It takes trust.
Not every one will like this and it is not nearly as covert as the other two options.
This is meant to be tried in rehearsal and not during performance for safety concerns.
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