A place to put my musings on art, community, and life because if I keep it in my head, well it hasn't worked out for me so far...why don't you hold it for a spell?
It's sad, but it's true.
But, there is also something deeply beautiful about the idea.
There are no concerns like in the Greek mythology of different places where people end up, let alone the animals:
Civil planning was a nightmare
Instead, we all get the same treatment.
No cosmic judgment.
No good or bad or the other.
Just the ground.
With everyone else.
Hamlet actually says it best:
HAMLET
Dost thou think Alexander looked o' this
fashion i'
the earth?
HORATIO
E'en so.
HAMLET
And smelt so? pah!
Puts down the skull
HORATIO
E'en so, my lord.
HAMLET
To what base uses we may return, Horatio!
Why may
not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander,
till he find it stopping a bung-hole?
HORATIO
'Twere to consider too curiously, to
consider so.
HAMLET
No, faith, not a jot; but to follow him
thither with
modesty enough, and likelihood to lead it: as
thus: Alexander died, Alexander was buried,
Alexander returneth into dust; the dust is earth; of
earth we make loam; and why of that loam, whereto he
was converted, might they not stop a beer-barrel?
Imperious Caesar, dead and turn'd to clay,
Might stop a hole to keep the wind away:
O, that that earth, which kept the world in awe,
Should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw!
Alexander, the world's greatest conqueror would one day act as a stopper for beer.
We should all hope for so much.
METAPHYSICS!
To relate on a more metaphysical level:
Zhuangzi (one of the greatest Daoist thinkers) had this dream that most everyone is familiar with:
"Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a
butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a
butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I
was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not
know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a
butterfly, dreaming I am a man. Between a man and a butterfly there is
necessarily a distinction. The transition is called the transformation of
material things."
A man has a dream that he was a butterfly
In the dream he was unaware of being anything but a butterfly
Awakes again as the man
Is no longer sure he is the butterfly dreaming or the man who dreamt
In no medium have I seen this more accurately portrayed than Roy in Rick & Morty.
Meet Roy.
Roy is a game.
A game that people play.
Where they wake up as a child from a horrid nightmare where they lived with otherworldly beings.
We are reassured by our mothers back to bed.
And we live a life.
And when we die it's GAME OVER.
And then we wake up.
And that is Roy's life.
To us, to Roy it is complete and real and whole and valuable.
But, from a larger perspective, it is just a game.
That disturbs me more than anything.
What if the nightmares from our childhood were the reality we are trying to escape?
This.
This is Sarah Jones, one of the most brilliant performers I have ever seen.
In it, she performs as multiple personas given life through her theatrical device: BERT.
OR
Bio-Empathic-Resonance-Technology.
B.E.R.T.
B.E.R.T.
It is brilliant.
The idea is that in the near future, human technology is able to accurately record, and then recreate the emotional response inside of the originator.
As a device, I cannot emphasize how effective this is.
Josh Daniel Palmer said it best:
"That is, quite simply, theatre."
In theatre, that is what we do. We attempt to recreate an empathic response in our audience.
By drawing attention to this simple truth in theatre, Sarah Jones is able to create a beautiful relationship with her audience.
The Setting
The talk is set in the far distant future and our near future is being taught as a history lesson.
This setting acts as another layer of theatrical device.
It lets Sarah Jones's character of Teacher act as an "objective" third party to our very emotional history.
It lends perspective if not a sense of objective truth to it.
That was as far as we got in our discussion.
Her performance and text are so dense.
We mostly discussed that at our fellowship.
And the repercussions of those simple ideas
What would a future like that be like?
How might we achieve such a future?
And how long might it take?
The idea of the technology was so interesting and compelling that we didn't even get to the content
The Content
So, this is where Sarah Jones's work really shines.
She is able to slip in and out of character so quickly and so easily that it is completely transformative.
And then, she is able to appeal to many sides of the argument.
Her first character, an elderly woman views sex work as a mechanization/industrialization of the human experience of "making love"
The second is a college age feminist who finds the work empowering, but has no interest in performing it herself.
The third is a sex worker who wants the right and ability for economic empowerment.
The fourth was a sex worker from a very young age having been forced into it by her husband's debts and viewed it as a business filled with lost souls without tether.
The fifth and final one presented was a male who was getting married, attending his bachelor party, discussing freedom of choice for women who want to be in the business for positive, empowering reasons.
She indicates that her show SELL/BUY/DATE has additional roles, additional viewpoints, but already we have a wildly eclectic view of a single topic:
Sex Work.
And what does it mean?
By giving us so many perspectives and so many rich stories and encouraging us to feel empathetically with each viewpoint completely, Sarah Jones is able to weave together a very rich tapestry of views and conversations into a single whole.
I think this work is some of the best I've seen.
I think she is one of the best performers I've seen.
I see no clear answer or way through this issue and I don't think that that is the point.
I am heartened by the historical context that she presents:
Somehow, some way we get through this time of strife.
We come to a new understanding that is filled with rich words like "gender spectrum".
I hope for a future where we can experience our ancestral history as a part of our growing understanding of our world.
Maybe it already exists in our theatre as exemplified by Sarah Jones.
I hope that I may experience more theatre like it.
One of the hardest questions I have been asked in a while.
The other being:
"What do you do for fun/play?"
I was without answer then as well.
Art is hard.
And by that, I mean the artist life.
Enter the Slings and the Arrows
Meet Slings & Arrows.
One of the scariest portrayals of artistry that I have ever seen.
Mostly because it is too real.
Mostly because it is too art.
Meaning, it is a show about a Canadian Shakespeare Festival that is run by incompetents, the insane, and all around artists.
It revolves around the travails of the festival and the man on the left, Geoffrey Tennant.
Who, in the first season, ignores his mentor until said mentor commits accidental suicide by pig truck, only to have Geoffrey haunted by his ghost/hallucination in a Kafka-esque/Family Guy question: IS THE GHOST REAL? IS HE NOT?
Oh and Geoffrey is the Artistic Director of the festival...meaning he runs the whole things.
For those not in the know, a synonymous theatre festival's budget was approximately 57.4 million dollars last year.
He is the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation!
Artists love this show.
I love this show.
As evidenced by this video:
Stuff people say at a Shakespeare Festival:
"This is exactly like Slings & Arrows. This is just like Slings & Arrows. It's better than Slings & Arrows! We're just like Slings & Arrows!"
Over and over again, classical companies compare themselves to this show.
And why?
Because it is a great show that makes you want to be a part of a festival.
It is also psychotic, maladjusted, and lacks any semblance of communication.
At one point, Geoffrey stabs his artistic rival Darren Nichols in a duel. Twice.
It makes for great television, but why do we love to compare it to our lives?
Maybe because it is a little bit true.
That while we get to wake up for work every day and go in and do sword fights and play...well, maybe that is actually really hard work.
Yes, there is an incredible pay off.
Nevertheless, that is work.
The reason I bring all of this up?
There is a wonderful scene where one of the characters is getting audited.
She has no idea what to do, so she goes to her acting friends.
They tell her:
"Claim everything. Make up, skin cream, shampoo. And every book you read and every record you play. We, as actors, have to be in touch with the zeitgeist."
This did something very interesting to a young and burgeoning artist such as myself (me).
It taught me that every single thing that I do is a part of what we might call: research.
This does wonders come tax season, not so great for my mental health.
And why?
Well, damn near everything that every reasonable person does for fun or as a hobby now becomes an exercise in futility and a drain on energy for me:
reading
writing
walking
hiking
exercise
cooking
nights out
nights in
move nights
learning skills
whittling wood
All of it becomes character work.
All of it is transformed from play into something that is done for the benefit of the art.
Which is really, really hard, because they are fun activities that I enjoy. But,...
It is really hard because I burn out very quickly with no sense of play or rest.
So what do I do for play?
I consider almost synonymous with
What do you do to feel free.
Because I am trapped in a world of work.
I have to work to play.
I have to work really hard to feel free.
So I find I often have to trick myself.
So I start with a common hobby that I have turned into research: walking.
And I keep doing that.
I keep doing it and keep doing it, exhausting myself.
And then I find myself in a new place.
A new experience.
Usually on accident.
Something unexpected works its way into the exercise and I am given a choice, embrace it or keep going with the exercise.
If the prospect is free and a lot of fun, I go with the flow.
If it isn't, I often have to wrestle myself into it for a while.
Point being you can keep walking/running:
Joy.
Or join the lantern festival you didn't know was happening downtown:
You wanna set fire to the night?
So to come back full circle...
What do I do to feel free?
I get a little lost.
It is one of the hardest things to do in this day and age.
We have enough distractions, mini maps inside our pockets, and enough social media events happening pretty god damn constantly.
But, it is worth it to get a little lost.
Today we discuss one of Bevin's spirit jam questions:
What is our responsibility to those we love?
I'll just insert this here and go back to it:
Initial response:
NONE.
My initial answer is nothing.
But, that sounds too harsh.
We have no responsibility to those that we love?
That doesn't sound right.
But, there must be a truth in the gut reaction, right?
So, taking it as a partial truth.
"We have no responsibility to those that we love."
Why?
Because we are our own persons.
We are responsible for making ourselves happy.
That is true of us all.
Therefore, we have no responsibility or obligation to those that we love because it is up to each of us to make us happy.
Okay.
What else?
Considered response:
SOME.
There is some responsibility to the ones we love.
But, what is it?
How do we determine what it is/might be in any given situation? Partial truth:
"We have some responsibilities to those that we love. "
So what might that be?
I think it is an understood relationship.
Something that is crafted and that we can all agree with.
Meaning, those who engage in sex and expect to have a baby have a responsibility to each other.
They expect and, I think, are responsible to one another and to the child to take care of one another, to support one another.
Now, what shape/details does that entail?
I do not know, they could be anything that is agreed to or understood.
The point is that there is a relationship that is entered and agreed upon.
"We are going to be parents. Therefore, we must enter into a paternal/maternal//paternal/paternal//maternal/maternal//(whatever non-heteronormativity you can insert) responsibility.
Final thought:
FRIENDS
Watching the video, I think it is one of the best ideas for responsibility to those we love:
"Treat them how you would your best friend."
What a beautiful idea.
If everyone treated those they loved as if they were their best friends? What a world in which we would live.
The idea of EQUALITY: out the window! The idea is one of FAIRNESS!
I want to contribute to this date/holiday, but only make a fifth of your earning potential.
It is a lavish, extravagant holiday.
I cannot pay for half the holiday.
Can I pay for a fifth?
Fair.
That is what I would expect of friends and of partners who work well together.
No one is obligated to pay for everything.
But, it is our responsibility to do our fair share.
Right?
Doing it the other way round.
I could feasibly pay for this entire holiday, but to have the other person not even so much as offer to help out?
Or have them offer to help and then deny them the ability to do it?
None of that seems fair or friendly.
It is important to allow people the opportunity to contribute where they can and to accept help whenever possible.
So that would be my best answer.
"Our responsibility to those that we love is the same as that to our best friends."
We enter into a relationship, a partnership, a teammate situation where we each contribute fairly to one another because that is what we have agreed upon, recognizing that it is to ourselves that we must turn to if we are unhappy with a situation, but we can always ask for help.
Here is a picture of foxes to illustrate the point:
Although I do have an article about the Drumpf nightmare somewhere....
*digging around sounds* Here it is!
But, that is not the ignorance of which I am speaking.
I am speaking of the ignorance that stems from artistry.
Something I don't talk about enough is process.
Mine specifically, other artists, maybe (though I can't exactly speak for them, just anecdotally).
I don't speak of it often because I assume (rightly or wrongly) that nobody wants to know these things.
Also, it has been ingrained in me that the work should always stand for itself. Full stop.
"Shakespeare doesn't give talkbacks."
Was an actual quote in my undergrad classes.
But, then again...why do we have talkbacks?
Isn't it to share with audience and with the artists making the art?
So...my process/ignorance:
I'm starting writing poetry. Check out my poetry/novel blog here.
I have always felt completely out of my depth when it comes to rhythm, rhyme, and everything to do with poetry/songwriting.
The reason for it is because I have a very ingrained sense of authority/hierarchy in the arts.
Theatre is dancing somewhere near the bottom, whereas recognized art forms: music, opera, and writing are dancing somewhere near the top.
Those are professions that require craft and specialization.
So I am the ignorant country bumpkin, trying to create something in an art form for which I have no experience, but a whole soul filled with appreciation.
And yet!I have always prized ignorance in others.
At least when it comes to artistry.
And why?
Too often I hear students/learning artists say:
I don't know enough. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how any of this is supposed to work.
And I congratulate them.
They look at me confused, mortified even.
It is better to know nothing when it comes to art.
It is better to be ignorant when it comes to art.
There, I said it.
Why so?
Children know nothing about art.
They simply draw. Children know nothing about play.
They simply do. And that makes them artists.
Unquestionably.
You can argue about the level of craft of their compositions or details, but one of the fundamental things about children as artists is they do it.
They make an impressive body of work.
My childhood portfolio is filled.
I would bet that anybody could say as much.
What about as an adult?
Is anyone nearly so prolific?
Ignorance is no bar to artistry.
In fact, I maintain that it is helpful.
And why?
Sir Ken Robinson ladies and gentlemen!
The story goes:
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew pictures. Occasionally she would walk around the room to see each child's work. There was on little girl who hardly ever paid attention in school, but she was busy working on her drawing. "What are you drawing?" she asked the little girl was was working diligently at her desk. The girl replied, "I'm drawing a picture of God." The teacher paused and said, "But, nobody knows what God looks like." The little girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Ignorance is not a bar to artistry.
It is about the most helpful thing in the world.
Children are ignorant and are able to draw pictures of God.
And why?
Because they do not have a preconceived notion of their limitations.
It is no stop to them or their abilities.
Adults who perceive themselves to be ignorant have a worse time of it because it does bar them and their ability to create.
For many years I have been the teacher in the joke, hopelessly afraid of writing anything.
But, I never viewed my lack of formal education as a blessing.
I have no scruples or understanding about how writing works.
I am free to make any sort of art that I can conceive.
So that is what I am currently doing.
My first novel is an experiment in long-form internal monologue.
The narrator is untrustworthy and will probably continue to be throughout the entire story.
I am no longer breaking it down into chapters, but chimes, drawing a direct narrative parallel between his experience of a year, a day, and a moment atop a hospital, but also the marriage bells.
Form influencing content and content influencing form.
I wouldn't think that that was an acceptable prose form were it not for the fact that I have never had anyone tell me not to do it.
Both of these works couldn't be told in the classical novel-form.
But, they are still very much novels.
He is one of the most daring novel writers that I have ever seen.
And I want more books to be like this: experimenting with form.
Since, I haven't seen it, well, I may as well write it.
One of the best anecdotes I was told by someone I care about very deeply was:
You know how C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien got their start? They were tired of the fiction being written at the time and decided to write what they always wanted to read.
That is bad ass.
I would like a little more badassery in fiction and in art.
So ignorance and lack of formal training being no bar, let's do it!
Let us, each of us, make the art that we wish to see in the world!
This is seriously one of my favorite things. Ever.
We are conscious of ourselves; social media is the market’s
response to a generation that only wanted to perform. So the market said, “Here,
perform EVERYTHING. To each other. All the time. For no reason.” And we do. It
is audience and performer melded into one. It’s prison. It’s horrific. What do
we want to do more at the end of the day than to sit down and watch our lives
as a satisfied audience member.
Everyone is a performer in this day and age. Social media demands that we be. Demands that performers are no longer just performers in their work, but in everything they do:
My generation, and by that I mean I, was taught to think I was special, to think that my opinion mattered.
That I would one day be like Lin Manuel Miranda.
"I have a privileged life, and I got lucky, and I'm unhappy. "
Truer words were never spoken by a white, cisgender male.
So what do we do?
You’ll notice the audience doesn’t answer.
In the tradition of Bevin Bell-Hall’s spirit jams on social
media, let us ask questions and hope for response (because that is the truth,
we never know if we will have a response/impact or not; every day is a leap of
faith. I know, I asked Bevin):
In an age where more emphasis is placed on social media and
the visual information, how can we best help each other?
In an age where the friends you have are the friends you never really knew, how can we help one another?:
Donald Trump & Princess Spanky are my homies!
What can we do?
How do we help one another?
Speaking personally, I get depressed.
Like seriously. wretchedly depressed looking at my feed.
But, not even just my feed, posting to my professional page:
When viewership goes down.
When the number of clicks plummets
When the number of people I may or may not know anonymously click on an article I have written and don't leave a comment, they become a single tick mark on the social media machine that tells me nothing about the beautiful, wonderful, individual souls that pass through my digital hall for a brief span of this precious life.
What can I do?
What can they do?
What can we do?
When Instagram is the dining experience as opposed to the DINING EXPERIENCE being the dining experience:
Visual media and sensory information is becoming the dominant.
I feel compelled to chronologue every excursion, every event, every single fucking thing.
And why?
Because how do I know if I lived a life?
How do I know if what I did mattered?
How many people care about me?
Do you?
Does anyone?
How do you know?
Unless you are completely switched off, which is possible, possibly even preferable these days, there is an objective tick counter that tells you how many people like whatever you are posting.
There is a way to find and support almost anybody anywhere at anytime.
But, this is our digital world.
And it is a reflection of our real world.
My very best friend Bevin, says that there must be a spiritual side to the digital landscape.
And I, for one, support her in that idea.
The digital sphere is what we have made it.
It doesn't have to be.
Because there are any number of ways that the digital sphere has been supportive and wonderful.
Her spiritual jam sessions where Bevin asks thought-provoking questions are just one.
As a political platform, it is unquestionably valid.
The democracy of the internet is unquestioned.
Everyone has access to the same internet so long as they have a connection.
(there are socio-economic concerns there that are not the subject of this article, e.g. access to poor/disenfranchised areas being less prevalent than our 5G enabled megatropolis of the United States)
Point being: WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP ONE ANOTHER.
For me?
Letter writing.
Studying the art of letter writing.
In an age where everything is public, where everything is vocal, and loud, and noisy in our digital space, we need a chance to be quiet.
A chance for kindness and dialogue and helping one another.
Why?
Because we perform. ALL THE TIME.
The feed is like the town square. It is a place where people shout to be heard, discuss prices, dinners, bargains, news, stories, experiences, in loud voices with other people possibly watching and listening too.
We need places and experiences to not do that.
Writing letters is one.
They are a physical, tangible way to show how much you care.
The require time and crafting to be made manifest.
But, they need not be purely physical.
Writing digital messages in a bottle and sending them off is wonderfully cathartic for me.
Apologies, love letters, congratulations, and calls for help to friends past, present, and future creates a digital landscape that I find spiritually and socially satisfying.
I wish that I could just have the Messenger without the Facebook feed sometimes.
Finding one's tribe in a digital landscape is what I think it is all about.
Exposing oneself to different ideas is the ideal, but creating/paving the way for thoughtful, powerful experiences digitally is how I know best to help one another.
SO I write letters.
I write thank you letters to people for helping me out of bad situations
I write apology letters to people that I have wronged or felt that I have
I write celebratory letters to people that seem in need of uplifting or joy
I write letters for me so that I know somebody does.
I don't send all of them.
Most haven't because they take time and they take craft.
But, they are there.
I guess the biggest thing that I take away from it all is thoughtfulness.
In a sea of information, I don't feel like a drop in the sea, or a part of the ocean.
No.
I feel like a drowning man in the middle of a tempest without so much as a plank.
Every day is a hard fight to breathe and post something that is meaningful.
Not just to me.
oh no.
But, to everyone.
And that is where the feeling comes from.
So maybe the better term is deliberate.
I aim to move towards a deliberate digital presence, a deliberate spiritual practice that can influence not only mine, but others as well.
This letter is one of the first to be made public.
It is to my dear friend, Bevin and to any and all who read it.
I hope you find it worthwhile.
I hope it helps and expands the conversation.
Too often, I find social media to be the last place where anybody wants to engage in political debates.
Mostly because the ability to offend through a purely textual medium is easy.
It doesn't allow for positive rhetoric or affirmations of the quality of the ideas.
Bevin manages to do it in her Facebook feed.
She can and should be thanked.
Thanks Bevin for all your hard work and bringing people together.
It really means the world.
It can be hard to engage because you never know if what you're saying has any meaning.
I hate ascribing meaning to Facebook's "like" button.
So, for me, personally, I'd like to burn that bad boy.
But, that being said, it brings me to my final suggestion.
How we might best help one another:
Show the love.
I know everyone is doing it all of the time.
And that is part of the problem of social media: Too much lovers, not enough time to love.
I have too many friends to individually like and comment on everything they post.
Same is true for me.
Facebook cherry picks what I see.
Already we have some people who are not seen in feeds nearly as much.
Content that gets passed over.
It can be very scary.
And very daunting.
The silent few who don't get noticed.
Please notice them.
Help them where you can.
Message them.
Write a couple letters to people that you remember after years of not talking.
And finally:
Think about the kind of digital life you would like to have.
If you would like for it to happen, try doing it for someone else.
