Those we Love? (Making Molehills out of Who Picks up the Check)

Today we discuss one of Bevin's spirit jam questions:

What is our responsibility to those we love?

I'll just insert this here and go back to it:

Initial response:

NONE.

My initial answer is nothing.
But, that sounds too harsh.
We have no responsibility to those that we love?
That doesn't sound right.

But, there must be a truth in the gut reaction, right?
So, taking it as a partial truth.

"We have no responsibility to those that we love."

Why?

Because we are our own persons.
We are responsible for making ourselves happy.
That is true of us all.
Therefore, we have no responsibility or obligation to those that we love because it is up to each of us to make us happy.

Okay.
What else?

Considered response:

SOME.

There is some responsibility to the ones we love.
But, what is it?
How do we determine what it is/might be in any given situation?
Partial truth:

"We have some responsibilities to those that we love. "

So what might that be?
I think it is an understood relationship.
Something that is crafted and that we can all agree with.
Meaning, those who engage in sex and expect to have a baby have a responsibility to each other.
They expect and, I think, are responsible to one another and to the child to take care of one another, to support one another.
Now, what shape/details does that entail?
I do not know, they could be anything that is agreed to or understood.
The point is that there is a relationship that is entered and agreed upon.
"We are going to be parents. Therefore, we must enter into a paternal/maternal//paternal/paternal//maternal/maternal//(whatever non-heteronormativity you can insert) responsibility.

Final thought:

FRIENDS

Watching the video, I think it is one of the best ideas for responsibility to those we love:

"Treat them how you would your best friend."

What a beautiful idea.
If everyone treated those they loved as if they were their best friends? What a world in which we would live.
The idea of EQUALITY: out the window!
The idea is one of FAIRNESS!
I want to contribute to this date/holiday, but only make a fifth of your earning potential.
It is a lavish, extravagant holiday.
I cannot pay for half the holiday.
Can I pay for a fifth?
Fair.
That is what I would expect of friends and of partners who work well together.
No one is obligated to pay for everything.
But, it is our responsibility to do our fair share.
Right?

Doing it the other way round.
I could feasibly pay for this entire holiday, but to have the other person not even so much as offer to help out?
Or have them offer to help and then deny them the ability to do it?
None of that seems fair or friendly.
It is important to allow people the opportunity to contribute where they can and to accept help whenever possible.

So that would be my best answer.

"Our responsibility to those that we love is the same as that to our best friends."

We enter into a relationship, a partnership, a teammate situation where we each contribute fairly to one another because that is what we have agreed upon, recognizing that it is to ourselves that we must turn to if we are unhappy with a situation, but we can always ask for help.

Here is a picture of foxes to illustrate the point:

Happy Little Fox Family